To Be Known

One of our deepest yearnings is to be known... In all our glory and our mess... to be seen, to be heard, to be felt, to be known. And ultimately to be cherished and ushered by someone on this pathway home. At least that's mine. Many times growing up, I felt so alone and unknown. I embarked on a journey to know and be with myself. I don't hide secrets, I rarely catch myself in a lie or embellishment simply because of this deep yearning to not be alone in the dark ever again. My prayer goes like this...

Oh dear God,

I don't have the answers, I don't know the truth
But when my heart aches, let me be heard, please let me be heard

I've been trying so hard, I've ran out of ideas
Frustrated with furry, let me bleed it out

God, when I pour out my heart, let me be seen, let me be seen!

Let me be loved. Let me be held. Let me be healed. And above all, let me be known.

Yes, God. Let me be known.

...
My little 6 yr. old crystal baby saw me sobbing in my bed recently after another miscommunication with my partner. I spiraled into a deep depression, I couldn't find my way out of for about 2 days... But this girl. She knows something I don't. She sees something so clearly that is so foggy for me. She touched my heart like the hand of God as she leaned in to comfort me with her tiny hands and gentle caresses, " don't you worry mama. You don't have to change. You don't have to be 'better' for me. It's ok to be sad. You are perfect just the way you are."

I covered my mouth with amazement & sobbed because that struck me as truth & it felt as if time stood still in one healing moment. Maybe I'm not getting what I want out of my relationship, but I am not alone. This child sees and knows the truth about me. I have been holding onto this key words, words that some of us may have not taken seriously before. "You're perfect the way you are." My goodness... I can stop trying so hard.

She gave me permission to stop trying so hard to be better & fix & do only to end up so terribly disappointed. I don't have all the answers, but that's ok. I'm going to practice not trying so hard and see what happens.

We all want to be known. The st. Francis prayer comes to mind. Seek to understand rather than being understood. Seek to love rather than be loved. Where there is darkness, may I bring light. (Jumbled up of course).

May we seek to hear the cries of others, if we, ourselves really want to be heard in return.