People just don't know what they don't know... and how can you blame them for it because it was once you in their position. My heart just breaks for all the voices who can not be heard, for all the oppression people have faced and are still facing, for the idiots who don't know better but who flauntingly discriminate, and especially, especially for those mothers and fathers trying to give their children a better life through social services. Now, I know we all discriminate and have hidden/not so hidden biases... it is a natural cognitive process to help us organized the world around us, but for heaven's sake EDUCATE YOURSELF before posting cruel remarks on FB. Or, at least that is what I would like to say to the world and have it considered in all arenas.
Not too long ago, I was one of those uneducated, pretending to be ditsy girls, who judged women for abortions, people "abusing" the welfare system, and I thought getting high was more important than contributing to society. But, boy! What an education can do for you!? Since changing my life for my daughter and deciding education would be one vehicle for that, I can no longer see the world in the same way. I don't take what I learn in school at face value. I get to think critically, do my own research, investigate, and draw upon my own personal experience. There is power in data. There is power in knowledge. People don't seem to care so much about emotions; it seems numbers speak louder than words. Most of the reason I want that damn PhD degree is so society will accept and validate what I have to say. I have a lot to say and a lot of work to do to fulfill my life's purpose. Education has allowed me the freedom to believe in myself and my experience. I will not stop until all the critical voices are heard by the people in power.
Anyways, I recently got all fired up because this chic on my FB page posted this, "I know this will NEVER happen, but instead of giving out WIC like it's candy, they should just give em all birth control." If you don't know, WIC is a nutritional program that educates women and children (in poverty) to have healthy eating habits and provides them with these huge embarrassing checks to buy minimal items such as milk, eggs, dry beans, baby food, etc.. How can someone make such a cruel comment? It's one thing to suggest birth control in conjunction with nutrition for their already LIVING children, but to suggest the "candy" giving should stop all together? I feel sick just typing this in remembrance.Why does this fire me up so badly? Because almost every class I take has taught me about cultural relativism, to see the differences in ways of life, and contributing factors such as oppression, discrimination, abuse, underprivileged communities. Also, I have personal experience seeing first hand what programs like WIC, CalWORKs, EOPS, and non-profit pregnancy crisis centers can do in transforming lives. This is no light subject. LIVES are being saved, second chances are being given out, and the next generations are given some hope from the mothers who change their lives for the better.
With a six-month old baby in hand and my tail between my legs, I attempted to shop at the Pleasanton Safeway market to restock up on baby food. I was scared to pick out the wrong food brand that was WIC approved because then the register lady might get frustrated with me, and I'll turn bright red while imagining everyone knowing how actually kinda stupid I was (or so I thought). I had to check and re-check that I had the right food. During my pregnancy I read a book called Raising Baby Green which talked about the importance of organic everything for baby and no processed food, but since WIC didn't yet approve this expense, I had to get the preservative filled crud for my little baby which was better than nothing. Finally, I got up to the register with nothing more than a dozen or so baby food jars. I felt proud I had found all the WIC approved ones and followed all the rules. As the register lady checked each one by hand and signed off the dreadful, stigma laden WIC checks... the tall, semi-elderly woman standing behind me was obviously becoming impatient. With my tail, again, in between my legs I kindly looked up at the women with a half pout and suggested if she were pressed for time that maybe she should try the other line, and I turned away apologetic. The woman ripped my very new found dignity right from under me as she yelled, "JEEZ, THIS IS WHAT ARE TAX DOLLARS ARE GOING TO?" My heart broke. I was so embarrassed. I felt so undeserving and shamed with guilt that I could not provide even baby food for my own child without having to return to being an escort, or a porn star, or a stripper. All things that brought me very close with death. I had no other choice, but to walk that walk of shame every week to the grocery store. For my babies health, yes I am willing to be stigmatized again and again and again.
Today, I am unapologetic. I know all the factors that came into play for me to be in a needy position raising an innocent child on my own. I know it was not all my choice to get sucked into a life in the adult industry where almost no one escapes, EVER. The torment I experienced from the kids at school, the oppression of being a girl and so desperately wanting to be as loved as my brother, the abuse and the exploitation and the manipulation are what limited my choices. Yes, it was my choice, but from what plate was I choosing from? What are the underlying implications society and circumstances have in the theatrics of my life? These are just the questions I had to ask my professors at CAL, and these come from a half-white girl (me) raised by a middle to upper class American/Mexican-American household in a suburb with access to services. May I ask you what factors are involved with, lets say an African American young girl who has been born into a society that will not accept her skin color, trembles with anxiety at her mere presence, and that now wants to act color blind? Were there resources in her community growing up? Did her parents have low self-worth and it trickled down? Was birth control against her religion or culture? Was she left by her fiance? These are the questions I would like to ask the chic who posted on FB that WIC is being given out like candy, yet she takes no action on the issue.
People don't know what they don't know until you tell them.
