Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Self Forgiveness


Dear Robin

I see you there child
I am sorry you felt so alone
I could not comfort you
I am sorry for all those terrifying nights when you thought it was over
I could not protect you
I am sorry the emotional pain kept out weighing the physical
I could not stop them
I am sorry you saw ugliness and rejection in the mirror everyday
I failed to wipe your tears
I am sorry you had to run and hide all those years
I could not find you
I am sorry your soul was crushed & your body dismantled
I could not put you back together back then
I am sorry you had to medicate night after night
I could not hide the medicine
I am sorry you lost hope on the bathroom floor, hospital bed, police car, hotel room
I could not pick you up
But I want you to know…
I did not abandon you
I was covered by your shame, your parent’s shame, and their parent’s shame…
I tried to find you
Take heart because Izabella has brought me to you, I’m here to stay
I got you sweetie, the nightmare is over now.
I have watched you transform, there’s no turning back

From this day forth
I will give you all the things you never had
I will hold you tight
I will protect you
I will strengthen you
I will love you dearly
I will hold your hand through all your victories
I will wipe your tears
I will delight your heart with friendships & romance
I have restored you

Please forgive me! I beg you.

Love,
Your Light