Self Forgiveness

Dear Robin

I see you there child

I am sorry you felt so alone

I could not comfort you

I am sorry for all those terrifying nights when you thought it was over

I could not protect you

I am sorry the emotional pain kept out weighing the physical

I could not stop them

I am sorry you saw ugliness and rejection in the mirror everyday

I failed to wipe your tears

I am sorry you had to run and hide all those years

I could not find you

I am sorry your soul was crushed & your body dismantled

I could not put you back together back then

I am sorry you had to medicate night after night

I could not hide the medicine

I am sorry you lost hope on the bathroom floor, hospital bed, police car, hotel room
I could not pick you up

…

But I want you to know…

I did not abandon you

I was covered by your shame, your parent’s shame, and their parent’s shame…

I tried to find you

Take heart because Izabella has brought me to you, I’m here to stay

I got you sweetie, the nightmare is over now.

I have watched you transform, there’s no turning back

From this day forth

I will give you all the things you never had

I will hold you tight

I will protect you

I will strengthen you

I will love you dearly

I will hold your hand through all your victories

I will wipe your tears

I will delight your heart with friendships & romance

I have restored you

Please forgive me! I beg you.

Love,

Your Light